Amore’ (Daughter): When you think of the word abandoned, you typically think of a stray dog or old home, right? When I used to think about it, I thought about my dad.
You see, what some people don’t realize is that I remember my dad leaving and moving a couple of times. But it’s not like he moved down the road or even a town away. He moved to a different state. Two different states!!! Each time he moved it’s like he was getting further and further away from me. 5 hours. 9 hours. And finally settling on 8 hours. That’s an eternity in a child’s mind. It was in mine.
I took all of the moves personally. I remember when my dad told us he was moving back to Cleveland. I knew where he was going to be. That was familiar. I wasn’t happy but I knew where he would be. I could stomach that. I remember when he told us he was moving to Boone, NC. That was VERY unfamiliar and since it was even further away, I could feel then the feeling of abandonment starting to creep up. What was so important there? Why was it more important than me? Finally, Nashville. This is where he was settling… still 8 hours away from me. At this point, I expected him to live far away. It was nothing new and honestly, I wasn’t surprised at all.
The biggest questions all started with one word… Why? Why did he have to move further from me each time? Why does he want to be so far away? Why can’t he be closer to me? Why doesn’t he care enough about me to move closer? Why has he abandoned me?
Dale (Father): Abandonment- An act or instance of leaving a person or thing permanently and completely.
Most people have felt a sense of being abandoned at some point. That feeling is a tactic of the enemy used to infiltrate our mind with feelings of abandonment and hopelessness. You can feel abandoned even when surrounded by family or your closest friends.
Although there were times I felt as if I was drowning in a sea of self pity, I don’t think I ever felt abandoned. I knew what God had told me and I held on to His word despite my circumstance. There were moments harder than others but regardless, I knew that restoration was coming. What I didn’t know is that it would be 12 years later.
Challenges that come with divorce are difficult enough but, when children are involved it becomes even more difficult. As a parent you instinctively go into protection mode to try and make sure the children are protected from the details.
The thing that is most difficult and misunderstood about a divorce is moving on, maybe that can be a future blog and conversation.
As time went by and life continued to present challenges it was evident that there were conflicting spirits at war. I knew that if I was ever going to get the restoration that was spoken, I had to stay the course.