Amore’ (Daughter): Rejection – This is a big one. This is one that I truly believe created the most problems for me. When someone you trust leaves or even breaks that trust, you have an internal struggle. Your mind goes to places it shouldn’t. Your heart breaks and you’re willing to do anything or allow anyone to try and put it back together. You may even ask yourself, “What did I do to make them do this?”
Rejection can breed so many other emotions and even actions. It is SO personal and in my experience, it started with my mind.
When my dad left, I thought that I had done something wrong. Yeah, my parents were divorcing, but he wasn’t supposed to not be around or stop being my dad. Your dad is supposed to provide security and unconditional love, right? Well, my security system had left town and his actions over the years made unconditional “love” something that made me feel like I had to earn.
I yearned for that kind of love from someone. I would have done and allowed anything to feel it too. So, what did my young and rejected heart do? I started dating. I know… looking back now, that is NOT what I needed to do or who I needed to run too, but remember, I was young. We all make mistakes! My reality was, if a guy gave me any attention, I was hooked. I would do anything to keep that attention and it wasn’t always the best situations that I put myself in. In my case, rejection bred insecurity and worthlessness.
At this same time, I was in church, heavily involved. I was leading worship, Bible studies, etc. Church became my second home. It’s where all of my friends came from and it’s where I wanted to be all the time. I knew that God loved me because the Bible told me so and that’s what I would tell others in similar situations, but inside I was feeling so rejected by my dad, my mind would go to, “If your earthly father doesn’t want you, then why would the heavenly father want me?”
I know… that’s heavy. Rejection is heavy. Like I said earlier, rejection can breed other emotions and they aren’t the good ones. But God is faithful and has the power to reject the devil himself. We can lean on that no matter how many times we have been or felt rejected.
Dale (Father): Rejection : THE ACT OF REFUSING TO ACCEPT, USE, OR BELIEVE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING.
This one for me is the big one. Rejection carries so many long term affects and consequences that it’s at times crippling. The words and actions of others, can and will, create a chain reaction of negative self worth and fear.
Forgiveness, along with discipline to keep feeding your spirit man with scripture and positive thoughts, is the only way I know to overcome the affects of feeling rejected. Even still it can be a daily struggle.
Although knowing and having an understanding of the circumstances that both the girls and I were dealing with, the feeling of rejection was never too far from my mind. When your job requires travel and you have adolescent children, schedules would often conflict. School, after school activities, blended family weekend travels, my job requirements and responsibilities hindered and limited the window of opportunity for the girls and I to actually talk. By the time the girls were old enough to have a cell phone, it seemed that the years of inconsistency in our communication would become the norm. Unanswered calls and voicemails would sometimes be answered via text. Unfortunately, the communication between the girls and I was primarily through texting through their teenage years. As sad as it was, I found myself feeling a sense of comfort in listening to their voices on their voicemail greeting.
Yeah, I would say that was one of the ways I felt rejected. I’m sorry, there’s just too much to write. I’m gonna leave this right here and ask that you join us Thursday night. I pray that if you feel rejected or you struggle with past rejection, please join us and let’s talk. God wants to love on you and take you to the next level of healing. Please join us and bring someone with you.